The Crib

Here is where the magic happens....

Christmas Video

There are two events going on here: Camille just opened up a rabbit fur coat gifted to her from Carly. Carly opened a diamond necklace from Candace. I laughed watching this tonight as I heard my dad caution Camille that someone is going to shoot her.

You're sooo evolved.

Well, I've been in the Nethers for three months now and I have two blogs written: one on my lactose intolerance and one on the retraction of my lactose intolerance. So now, for some real goodies on the Netherlands. I called them the most evolved people of the world - quite a statement, I realize. I thought about it though, and I don't want to retract it. I had some advice that I should tell all my friends and family how great the Dutch are and how we should be more like them, which prompted me to write a blog. I think I can say this, because I don't actually live there. If I were moving there, then it is rude. Plus, I'm aware they have flaws. Major flaws.

The Dutchies are really evolved bike riders. The average Hollander biked 560 miles in 2006. They are the bomb! I started to feel pretty good on two wheels, but I'm childsplay compared to these peeps. They have done wonders in making the bike realistic transportation. Exercise is the by product of this practical transportation. Because of

this, they have really perfected it to an artistic degree. Here are the awards: "Best Effort" goes to the man peddling against a strong dutch wind in a light rain uphill, with a chattering little girl in the front and another one squeezed on the back (Roger's favorite). He was a really good dad, peddling so hard, but still saying "ja" in all the right places. "Best in Show" goes to a woman with a seat on the back of her bike holding a kindergarden aged child and a two year old in front. Her hands were fixing her hair and the toddler was steering! And my personal favorite "Most Practical" goes to the man in a strong rain, holding the umbrella with a baby zipped inside his rain coat, his little newborn head peeking out. He was just chilling!

Number two reason: The

y are artistically evolved - the Dutch love to make

beautiful things. They make beautiful people (exhibit A - hottie ---->) and beautiful art. Even in the miniscule, they really outshine any other country I have visited. New buildings have li

ght displays, event posters are bold and interesting and the music of festivals takes a back seat

to the decor. What is so "evolved" about it isn't the art, but rather that they appreciate it and made it part of their life. It has become part of the every day, the mundane becomes interesting.

At Mystery Land, the main stages were a spectacular event of lights and movement, but what

was equally spectacular were the details in the regular going-ons outside of the stage. For example, the festival producers contracted a group of women who"urban knit" to beautify the poles and banal structures we see all the time. I don't have photos at the actual place, but the knitted tree is an example of it. It's beautiful!

Beyond the already compelling examples, these are other things that make me inclined to say they are evolved. The men share the duties of traditional housewife. They split the work week and dish duty. They are tolerant of people and ideas. They are very open to non-traditional medicine and have great health care.

Update Lactose Tolerant

Roger says if I don't make an amendment to my previous post that it's false advertising. Apparently, my diagnosis of a lactose intolerance was premature. I still am on Team Robby though, and feel like a milk reduction isn't as bad as I had thought. But yes, I have not had any problems since these two or three weeks when I had some stomach aches.

Taste the Dream

Growing up on dairy should mean I've earned the right to be lactose intolerant free. After all, I drank unpasteurized milk for much of my life and helped my mom distribute Christmas gifts of whipped cream, cheese and butter to colleagues. Recently though, I have developed a lactose intolerance! This is untimely because for the first time in my life I have begun to enjoy coffee, but only café au lait and now this doesn't sit well with my stomach. So Candace, I'm sorry, but you missed my three week coffee addiction, I'll have to go back to drinking teas at your place again.

I have found a good milk substitute: Oat Dream! With a name like that, you know it's bound to be good. I wanted an alternative to soy milk because I think we have it too often in our food and there is some evidence emerging that shows soyfood can mess with the thyroid gland, interfere with protein digestion, rob the body of minerals and upset hormone imbalance. Other options include almond and rice milk, which aren't the bomb, in my three week experimental opinion.

On another note, my skin has cleared up since making the switch in just these few weeks. After looking into it some, it seems that acne could be potentially linked to milk products. It's too soon to for me to make a conclusive judgment off my personal experience, but I'm becoming more of a believer. Since lactose intolerance can develop at any stage in a person's life, it makes sense that I had clear skin in high school, and in these last three years, it has completely changed.

My wise dairy loving mother pointed out that old cheeses have less lactose, which means that's why I didn't make the connection sooner. Since the symptoms and sensitivity vary person to person, it could be that cheese has less of an impact on me.

Anyway, I know this post is a little anti my roots, but I am feeling a little betrayed by the newly discovered ailment. At least Robby has someone to champion for less milk products.

Visitors from the west coast

Yay for West Coasters on the East Coast! One of the best things about living in an attractive city is that I get visitors! Some under the guise of visiting me,and some just because they happen to be in town. Evan Pack, long time Visalia lover and recent DC implant visited to celebrate his sister in law's birthday. Highlights include me enjoying his tiny new friend, Becki, talk to all sorts of random people resulting in a free club pass. Carly and I plan to repay the favor and stay in his "dope" basement soon. Friday night jazz he promises....

Not long after, Esmeralda stopped through town and we had an AMAZING night salsa dancing. We found this great hotel that hosts salsa on Monday nights. I couldn't believe the talent. They were slightly out of my league, but Esmeralda was able to hold her own. There was this one

guy who was the fastest dancer I had ever danced with. I tend to be a really mellow dancer (partly because I'm still learning), but I was literally panting after a couple of dances with him - Raul, I think. Esmeralda was whisked away within the first few minutes. Good thing we grabbed chai earlier because I think we saw each other a total of five minutes in between songs. Once when I asked her if her purse was still under the chair and the second time to say adios. She's with Jesús, which warms my heart to no avail. I really think they are soul mates.

THEN... Sara and Amanda came! Sara wanted to shop, Amanda wanted to go to museums. James usually blames me as Sara comes home with lots of new things when we go out together, but I only encourage her to purchase the jeans her butt looks great in, so he should be thanking me. She did do a lot of shopping, but I don't think I could be remotely blamed this time. The best part was Sara went off her calorie counting and ate whatever her heart desired starting off with a cheeseburger with mayo on night one. With mayo!

Lastly, the fam was here... and Carly even stayed which is so nice! I am so glad she is here.

Let her tell you about Andrew and Ben and their interest in Chris Brown and Rihanna. It was so nice to have everyone here. I felt like we created our own version of "A Taste of Manhattan." You can see the delicious fare on Candace's blog. My favorite was the pizza in Brooklyn. It was a bit of a trek, and the seating is non existent, but the taste is delicioso. We also saw Lion King. It was so good. Really, I was surprised at how enjoyable it was. The actors managed to look like animals, really graceful in mimicking them. The whole performance was spectacular. All the girls teared up when Nala sang. This girl had a voice! Ah, it was so nice. Don't judge it before you see it. It is so nice to be with people I love and quite a range too, from a salsa partner to sisters... I Heart West Coasters.

The US Census is Good for More than Counting

I had the best introduction to New York working for the US Government in the Census. My boss is Reggie, titled in my phone as Reginald Rap Star, AKA Barshem. "Do you know what it's like to be number 1 in Canada? I can't even walk the streets without gettin' mobbed!" Check out his number one hit titled "Thug Rain". He also thinks I should be a hand model, he knows people you know.

Favorite moments with Reggie include him tossing several hundred dolla bills on the diner table and then whispering to me he never leaves home without a thousand bones in his wallet. And when a child accidentally called his phone and he had a three minute conversation "Are you a little baby? Why you calling me little baby?"

Reggie was promoted to a different position, meet the new super, Siobahn Meow. A man who underwent a sex change, is obsessed with cats and frequented the Howard Stern Show. Siobahn's answering machine finishes with her purring into your ear. She takes her job way too seriously, which she was chastised for after her enumerators called the Census office repeatedly to complain. She gets the numbers in though.

Honorable mentions include Paul, a Russian Jew, who is living off the royalties of dvd sales. He created a how to dance video which gives you club moves. Madeleine Rowan held the record for the youngest chica in the poker world series for a quite some time. Her wikipedia entry has recently been deleted. Gay Ky Liu, who goes by Gary and also by Liu BUT NOT BY GARY LIU, keeps his fingernails long for fun and enjoys reading the Census Handbook in his free time.

My enumerators included: Vanyoska Gee, a film producer, dog lover and major talker; Gilda Konrad, a comedian who I'm pretty sure purposefully places red lipstick on her teeth, also a talker; Sally Tan who starts each sentence to me with "Hi, Chelsea" regardless of how long we have been talking and whose personality bears an uncanny resemblance to Ms. Swan from Mad TV.

In addition to the wonderful people I have mentioned and who I have sincerely grown to love (besides Siobahn), I have sat on the couches of many apartments in Alphabet City. I admired the book shelves of the man who organized by color, longed to be the hippie beauty in her light splayed studio and shared tea with the gay paraplegic who decorated his modern place with hundreds of images of Audrey Hepburn.

These streets will inspire you...